If you'd only look at me Astoria's story
by Snape is Forgiven
Summary: He never looks at me. Never. My one wish is that he would look at me. Even if it was with hatred in those steal blue eyes. At least he’d be looking at me. And that would mean one second that Pansy wouldn’t have, would never be able to have. COMPLETE! xox
1. First Glances

**If you'd only look at me - Astoria's story**

**Chapter 1: First Glances**

He never looks at me. Never. My one wish is that he would look at me. Even if it was with hatred in those steal blue eyes. At least he'd be looking at me. And that would mean one second that Pansy wouldn't have, would never be able to have.

I feel so desperate sometimes, so unwanted. Once I even wished I _was_ Pansy.

My friends say that I'm crazy, wanting him. They say that he'll never want me. For him to want me he'll have to know that I exist. He doesn't. I'd be surprised if he did ever look at me really.

--

'Really Astoria, you have to stop just sitting there looking at him. Why won't you go and talk to him instead?'

'_Talk to him?_ Do I look like I have a death wish? You of all people should know what happens when you talk to him! Don't you remember what Crabbie did to you in second year just because you said "Hi" to Draco?'

'Well, yea, but he _was_ in a rush. And he _was _a fourth year…'

'When you say "in a rush" you mean he was trying to get away from Pansy, right?'

Rosella laughed. Her laugh was like a tiny silver bell, yet it somehow managed to carry a long way.

Then, the unthinkable happened. Draco had heard Rosella's laugh. Not only that, but he had stopped talking to Pansy, and had looked over in their direction. Astoria looked at him. To her complete amazement, he was looking not at Rosella, but at her. Straight into her eyes. Astoria felt a chill go up her spine, was that _interest_ in his eyes? She couldn't be sure, since he looked away as Pansy said something to him.

--

Over the next few weeks, Astoria noticed that whenever Draco was around, he kept glancing over at her. It was very strange, not that Astoria was complaining. It was just that she wasn't use to all this attention from him. Astoria had a nasty feeling that Pansy had noticed because she kept glaring suspiciously at her whenever she caught Draco looking in Astoria direction. So, all in all, Astoria was quiet happy when the Christmas holidays arrived. Draco, for some strange reason, had decide to stay at Hogwarts. Astoria was overjoyed when she found out, as it would mean that Draco would be wondering around without any of his usual friends and , most importantly, Pansy.

So, with only Draco, Rosella and three other first years, Astoria was thinking that maybe this holidays she might get her chance to actually _talk_ to him. Unfortunately for her, Draco never seemed to be in the common room at all. Rosella even checked the library whenever she was passing, but always came back shaking her head and carrying several heavy books.

Christmas day arrived. Astoria and Rosella woke early to find huge piles of presents at the foot of their beds. While Rosella got herself twisted in her bedding and fell out of bed in her rush to open them, Astoria climbed gracefully out of her tidy bedding and walked slowly to her pile.

It was the usual stuff that any 14 year old Slytherin girl would get. Lots of books, beauty products, and lots of sweets from her friends. As she turned to the last present, she wondered who it could be from. She had already opened mothers, fathers, her sisters, and all her friends. Inside the beautiful silver and green wrapping, was a …

**A/N - and that's the end of chapter one! hope you liked it... review??**


	2. First Contact

**Chapter 2: First Contact **

… a note?

Astoria just looked at it in shock. Why would someone wrap up a note, in a box, and give it to her for Christmas?

'What is it Astoria? Did someone send you a pair of under-pants or something?' Rosella laughed at her own joke.

'err… well no.'

'So _why_ are you just staring at that box like that?'

'Oh, well you see…it's, it's a note'

'A note.'

'Yes. What's wrong with that?'

'Oh, well, most people don't get a note as a Christmas present you see. So who's it from?'

'Who's it from?'

'Yes. Who sent it to you? What dose it say?' Rosella asked in a slow voice.

'Umm… give me a moment Rosella.'

Astoria picked up the note for the first time. It was rather short now she looked at it. With only twelve words written in neat hand writing on it.

_Astoria, please meet me on the seventh floor corridor at 2pm._

_Draco_

Astoria stared at it like it was a rare gemstone. It was from Draco. _Draco_. He know her name, and he wanted to _meet _her today. 2pm.

Astoria mind went in to a sudden frenzy. What should she wear? Her really nice skirt, jumper and stockings? How should she wear her hair? Up or down or a bit of both? No. she should look casual. Look like she didn't make to much of a effort. But then again…

'Astoria? Hello!! Who's the note from??' Rosella asked snapping Astoria out of her outfit planning.

'What? Oh, ahh, nobody.'

'Then _why_ do you look like all your dreams came true at once?'

'Rosella! Just leave it ok. I'll tell you another time.'

Rosella looked hurt for a second, but quickly hid it with a shrug of indifference and turned to get some cloths out of her trunk. Astoria felt a little guilty. She had never yelled at Rosella like that.

Astoria turned to fish out some clothes of her own. After she and Rosella were ready they headed down to the great hall for breakfast.

--

After lunch was over, Astoria raced back to her dorm to get ready for her meeting with Draco. It took her over an hour for her to get completely ready. She was wearing her knee-length dark green skirt with white stockings and a silver jumper her sister had giving to her for Christmas. All in all, Astoria thought she looked pretty good. She had decided that her hair looked better down. She was putting on some lip gloss when Rosella walked in. She took one look at Astoria and rolled her eyes to the heavens.

'Why are you all dressed up?'

'Dressed up? Oh this? I'd hardly called this "dressed up" Rosella'

'Right, what ever you say…'

'Oh, by the way, what time is it?'

'1:50, why?'

'1:50!! I'm sorry Rosella, but I've got to run!'

Astoria raced out of the dorm and didn't slow down until she reached the sixth floor. After making sure she still looked ok, she walked up the staircase and into the seventh floor corridor…

**A/N - Hey to you all!! chapter 2 is complete n.n anyone like to review? I'm very sorry about any spelling errors, i'm a terrible speller. oh, and i'm sorry if i get any facts wrong. nobodys perfect. **

**_thanks to:_************MatoakaWilde****, ****fiction by cereza**** and ****ZemISHly**** for their lovely reviews. **


	3. First Meeting

**Chapter 3: First Meeting**

There he was. Standing in the middle of the corridor. He looked up as he heard her footsteps coming closer. He watched Astoria as she walked towards him. 

'Hello.'

Astoria gave an incredible shy 'Hello.' in return. She couldn't look at him. Instead she was looking at his silver prefects badge. Draco smirked at her.

'So, you're Astoria.' 

It was more of a statement than a question, but Astoria found herself nodding anyway.

'Is my prefect badge really that interesting? Why don't you look at my face?'

'Sorry.' Astoria replied, blushing madly. She forced her head upwards and looked into the eyes of the smirking boy.

'So. Astoria. How did you like your present?'

Astoria was very confused by this question. All he'd sent was a note… right? 

'Ummm…yes. I enjoyed your note very much.'

'I didn't mean the note. I meant, did you enjoy the thought of meeting me?'

'Oh! Yes, very much so. Thank you Draco.'

'I thought you would. Pansy told me that she heard from Daphne, that you liked me.'

Astoria went as still as stone. Daphne? How could she have told Pansy. Astoria had made her swear to her to not tell anyone! How could she!! 

'It's ok you know. I only wanted to make sure, and to ask you something.'

'Wha, what?'

'Well, since you have been so kind as to meet me here on Christmas day and everything, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind going somewhere with me. It up to you of course.'

'Yes!! Uh, I mean, yes Draco.' 

Astoria was blushing madly again, making Draco smile slightly. She was rather cute now that he looked at her properly. He wouldn't have guessed she was only a fourth year, she looked more like a fifth year to him. What with her long brown hair and dazzling dark blue eyes. She also, Draco was happy to add, had a nice figure that most girls her age didn't have yet. He remembered when Pansy was that age, and shivered at the very thought. 

'So, you'll come then?' Draco asked, offering Astoria his hand.

She just nodded, and stared at his outstretched hand, wondering weather to take it or not. Draco, sensing she wasn't going to take it on her on, simply grabbed her hand and started walking towards the door opposites them. 

Draco opened the door and walked inside with Astoria trailing after him. She gasped when she saw what she'd walked into. It was like a park she'd once been to with her mother in Paris. With it's beautiful gardens, lakes, statues and even a small fountain. She looked at Draco in gratitude. And found that he had been watching her reaction since she'd stepped in. There was a slight smile on his lips as he looked down at her. 

'I'm guessing you like it then?'

Astoria just smiled in response, her eyes questioning. 

'Do you want to go feel the water? Or lay on the grass?' 

His smile becoming wider as Astoria let go of his hand and ran toward the fountain. Laughing softly as the water ran over her hand. She look like a little child, with all it's innocence still in tacked. 

Draco decided that he would go lay on the grass and just watch her. Astoria looked round five minutes later and found Draco asleep on the grass. She smiled, he looked so peaceful like that. Astoria sneaked over to him and sat down. 

Draco peeked out of the corner of his eye. Good, she looked like she was in the middle of a day dream. He slowly reached out his hand and gently put it round her hip. 

'Oh!' Astoria gaped as she felt something land lightly on her hip. She looked round and relished it was a rather large hand. Draco sat up as Astoria looked round at him surprise. 

'You don't mind, do you?'

"No, but, ummm… I had properly be getting back. Rosella would be getting worried.'

'Ok, I'll walk you back then.'

Draco grabbed her had again as they got up and walked towards the door. Astoria was quite sad to leave the garden, but Rosella would be worried if she wasn't back soon. 

**A/N: Ok, there is only one more chapter to go. BUT, there is a sequel in the works. So, reviews would be much loved n.n**

**Much thanks to these people for reviewing:**

ZemISHly

Charmedgrays


	4. First Goodbye

**Chapter 4: First Goodbye**

Astoria was right, Rosella _had_ been worried. They had had a rather large fight when Astoria had arrived back in her dorm. They hadn't spoken to each other again until the next morning, and that was only because Rosella had forgotten they were fighting and had talked for nearly twenty minutes before she had remembered. Astoria was the first to say sorry, and then went on to explain where she had gone. Rosella had looked both shocked and happy for Astoria after she had heard that it was Draco who Astoria had gone off to meet with.

'I wonder if he'll want to meet with you again?'

Astoria looked worried. 'I really do hope so. I know I'll die if he doesn't.'

The Christmas holidays had drawn to a close. With the entire student's now back, classes had begun again. It was during her History of Magic class that Astoria found another note from Draco, hidden in her book.

_Astoria._

_Please meet me at the door to the garden at 6 o'clock tonight._

_Draco_

So he did want to see her again. Astoria was overjoyed. She quietly lent over and nudged the sleeping Rosella in the ribs. Rosella, thinking class had ended, began to pack up before she noticed that her teacher was still talking. She looked at Astoria and found the girl with her head on the desk in laughter. When she had finished, Astoria handed over the note she had found. Rosella read it quickly and handed it back with a smirk.

'See, he does want to see me again.' whispered and excited Astoria.

Rosella waited up for Astoria to get back from her meeting with Draco. She had tried to make a start on her Potions essay, but couldn't concentrate. It was 8 o'clock now, she'd better hurry, she only had an hour till curfew.

At 8:30 Astoria come into the dorm looking like she was trying with all her might not to skip. Rosella leaped up and corned her, before Astoria had even taken a few steps.

'So? What happened? What did he say? What did _you_ say? You have to tell me everything!!'

'Ok, ok. Calm down Rosella!'

Rosella went and sat cross-legged on her bed and waited for Astoria to join her. Over the next half hour Astoria told Rosella everything that had happened since she had left the common room at 5:45.

'… and he told me he loves me Rosella, loves _me_!'

'But did he kiss you?'

Astoria just blushed, but that was all that Rosella needed. She had tackled her friend to the floor, laughed and cheering herself hoarse.

There was only a month left before school finished, but it was going to be a very long month for poor Astoria. She had woken that morning to find Rosella in tears. It had taken ages for her to calm down enough to find out what had happened.

'Oh Astoria, I'm so sorry!'

'Why? You haven't one anything have you?'

'N, no. but he has! He killed Professor Dumbledore!'

"What? Who did? Rosella, what's going on! Tell me!'

Rosella sniffed and gave Astoria a very sad look 'Draco. Last night he let some Death Eaters in. then he went and found Professor Dumbledore and killed him! Draco_ killed him _Astoria!'

'But, he couldn't have! Draco is not a _murderer_!'

'Well, I did hear that it was Professor Snape that killed him, but Draco was _there_, he was going to kill him!'

Astoria wouldn't believe her. No matter how many times she heard it. He _wasn't_ a murderer! He wasn't. However, Professor Dumbledore _was_ dead. He _had _been murdered, and Draco had disappeared. Astoria found out that he had escaped with Professor Snape.

Astoria sat by herself on the train. She hadn't talked much since Draco had left. Rosella's parents had come to the school the very next day and taken her home. She had no other friends. Astoria had spent her days reading or staring at nothing for hours on end. She'd had no contact from Draco or Rosella. Her heart was braking, and she couldn't do anything to stop it.

_Tap tap_

The sound startled Astoria. Looking over to the window, she saw an owl flying along with the train. Letting the owl in, she took the letter and watched as the owl flew off again the closed the window before sitting down and opening the letter.

_Astoria,_

_I'm so sorry for leaving you without saying goodbye. Please forgive me. I miss you more and more every day. I can't live without you Astoria. I'm afraid I won't be seeing you for a long time. The thought of it saddens me. But I can't change that. This is beyond my control. Just remember one thing, I will always love you. Never forget that. I will never forget you Astoria._

_All my love, _

_Draco_

She smiled for the first time in weeks. And then started to cry. She was going to wait for him, she doesn't care for how long.

She'd wait.

**A/N: Well, that's the end of this story. Oh, don't worry! There is a sequel in the works n.n Review!!**

**Thanks to the following people for their review:**

**Aphorise**

**ZemISHly**** - yes, that was the room of ****requirement. I forgot to say so, sorry!!**

**Charmedgrays**


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